Notebook
I’m free-I’m free,
And freedom tastes of reality,
I’m free-I’m free,
An’ I’m waiting for you to follow me.
(from Tommy)
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I have tried for so long to tell you what it is like, why I need it, why I want you, in that way.
But you already know – that is what makes me so happy. So happy.
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You know - you know - I want more than just you in me - I want us in each other.
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You are a bright country lane with dusty shafts of light,
Where lovers hold hands and breezes toss your skirt.
You are a country lane that closes in on me until no light can penetrate.
You fill my heart with foreboding, time slows, I hold you close.
You are a pinprick of light that leads me to a lavender meadow
You are deep in my core, moving, moving, moving…
My fists are filled with purple flowers.
My hips are filled with you.
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I feel inside of me a rushing stream that fills with more and more water as it descends the mountain, it rushes and roils, it pulls down trees, undercuts boulders, paws gravel from its banks as it tumbles, roaring its terrible roar until it finds a valley to run calm in, lay down its flotsam and run quiet.
Well that is my love.
That is we - we tumble and mix, first a quiet steam, then a wild river, then an alluvial plain.
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If I could have you tonight? Would that be any more real?
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I’ve got one, two, three, four, five,
Senses working overtime
Trying to taste the difference,
‘Tween a lemon and a lime,
Pain and the pleasure,
And the church bells softly chime
(XTC)
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I turn and face the wind.
I shout your name until the air is gone from my chest.
You name rushes past my ears and down the valley.
I have sent the wind to find you.
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With love.
Yours,
-ryder
